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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Friends, Peer Pressure and all that junk


Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger.
Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

It was my sixth grade year and I had been 'going' with a young lady for a few weeks although we never went anywhere, but I think you catch my drift. We never sat together at lunch, went on any dates (for the fact neither of us could drive and my ability to go to the movies on any given weekend was a slim chance), nor did we really even talk or pass notes...it was a pretty fruitless 'relationship'. So, one day I decided to end it. I know, it might sound cruel but I wrote her the break up note. It was short, to the point and done...or so I thought. The next couple of days were filled with sneers and stares in the hallways of the school. I got wind of rumors that a fight was coming my way in an attempt to revenge the broken heart I had just sown. Then, after the third day, after 3rd hour, I was surrounded at my locker by six (count 'em) angry faces with the most bitter of all being the dumpee and might I add the only female of the bunch. She had gathered some feisty friends to put some fear in me that the threat of a battle with them was nothing compared to what was coming my way. Then I heard his name in a low smirk of a tone, "Mark is gonna beat you up!" Are you kidding? Mark was 9th grade cousin of my 'ex' and he known for his skills in beating up those that cross him or even looked at him funny. I was terrified. I was sweating the rest of the day wondering when it was going to happen. I was thinking all the time how his huge fists would slam me to the ground for the wrong I had done. Then it dawned on me...I've never seen Mark, I don't even know what he looks like. How am I gonna know who he is? A week went by and it seemed to die down. My name was quickly forgotten by the young lady who by now had other things on her mind...or so I thought.
I got the once-in-a-lifetime chance to go to the movie the following Friday night with a couple friends so I jumped at the chance. We got to the show, had some snacks and were sitting about 15 rows back watching what was sure to be a life-changing movie (yeah, I have no idea what we went to see) when all of the sudden I see this guy on the front row stand up, turn around and begin searching for something saying, "Where? Oh, I see." Then, proceeding to stand up on his seat taking a step he began to walk over all the rows of seats (and people) until he comes to my row, jumps down and flops down right beside me. So, what do I say? "Hey." Yes, I've been called brilliant a time or two in my day. He responds with a corresponding "hey" and then introduces himself as Mark. I'm in shock, wondering if this is all really happening. It turns out that the big bad Mark is this five-foot, one hundred pounder with long greasy hair and a really smelly denim jacket. He said he was the young lady's cousin and he wanted the low-down on the nasty break up. I simply told him the truth, no frills and non-threatening. It was what I had been taught to do in this situation...besides I was a five and a half foot two hundred pounder, so it's not like I could have outrun the guy. Gentle honesty was the policy for the night. It seems hokey now, because the reaction that I got was not the one I expected. I was thinking of blood and spit flying all over the place, people pointing and laughing and an oxygen mask over my face while I was being hoisted into the ambulance...instead Mark just looks at me and says, "Ok, I understand. She was angry, but she couldn't give me a reason to come and pound you so I just wanted to know the truth." Believe it or not, he then thanked me and asked if I would come up to the front with his crew and finish the movie. I had been dumped by my friends early in the evening and out of a bit of left over fear I accepted the invitation, "I'll just walk around if that's alright." He nodded an agreeing response and stomped his way forward over the rows and people again ending at the front.

I learned some valuable lessons that night. All the cheesy lines my dad had given me to say to a bully really had some effectiveness behind them. Being able to handle the pressure of the moment and not let the fear cause me to cave in can really happen. The fact of following scripture as a means to dealing with life can and does work. And if something as simple as that truth is real...what other truths can I find out about in scripture? This prompted me to take a better look at what it is to be a Christian and what that means. Beyond ritual. Beyond tradition. Beyond religion to living my faith. Who would have thought a skinny greasy-haired kid could have prompted that? Blessings come in all different packages.